why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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