What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize