ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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