If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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