this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
