In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
