we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
