WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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