if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
