There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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