My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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