I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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