I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
