people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
