I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do vagina's smell?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
