What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
