new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
