Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
