dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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