You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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