I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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