planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
