I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
