Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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