I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
