sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
