Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
time to smoke my breakfast
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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