new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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