K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
