So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
