she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Everyone says I win the strip club
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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