Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
