is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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