weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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