He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
