Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
