I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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