I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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