last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
