my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
