I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
