STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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