we made out on top of his cat.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize