I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
