tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
