yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
