If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
