U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
