I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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