Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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