He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
