idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
