I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
