I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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