saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
