She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
3 2 1 whiskey
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
