I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i've created a new STD.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
