next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
