I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
