ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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