i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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