So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
