i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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