I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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