I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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