I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
