Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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