Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
