The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
