My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
