So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
jump out the window naked night went bad
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