I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm like, not good at living.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
