If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
