I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
