How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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