Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
thus making me awesome and them whores
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize