Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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