Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
